Want more information? Here’s an article on the topic: Mentoring in the Digital Age
Should mentors follow their mentees on social media? As societal concerns over children’s safety (e.g., solicitations and abduction and by strangers) have waned, new, subtler risks (and rewards) have come to light. Many fear that these forms of communication may undermine the mentees’ capacity for deep reflection, conversation, and sustained attention. At the same time, we are experiencing the many ways that these new forms of communication have improved and sustained bonds. The key is to engage in ways that minimize risk and maximize benefits.[faq category=33 template=accordion]
Overall, there is little evidence that social media is undermining intergenerational bonds. Just as there was once moral panic over books, the telephone, radio, and television, our fear that digital media will fray our social bonds and diminish our capacity for connection has been challenged by our everyday experiences with social media and the enriched opportunities for connection it has provided. The challenge now will be to develop guidelines that are sufficiently flexible to encompass both their strengths and limitations.
As we all know, young people’s disclosures about important topics don’t always fit neatly into the designated meeting time. Texting provides opportunities for them to raise issues, ask questions, and make disclosures to their mentors whenever the spirit moves them. The mentor who receives such texts can, in a sense, “bookmark” them—responding briefly in the moment but returning to them during the meeting times. At the same time, a kind word or empathic response can become a transitional object for the mentee: a perennial boost of support to which they return when encouragement is needed.
Our recent survey showed that, to a certain extent, the more the things change, the more things stay the same. Mentors see new forms of social media not as a substitute for face-to-face relationship, but as a facilitator (much like a telephone). Texting and other forms of messaging with staff, mentees, and parents has vastly improved mentors’ ability to schedule meetings, learn about changes in plans, and avoid the frustrations that can undermine planning and erode connection.
Most notably, social media has expanded the ways in which mentees can connect with their mentors. Yes, social media includes risks; but it also includes important opportunities for conversation and mentors must embrace mentees’ channels of communication. In fact, many youth feel more comfortable texting than talking on the phone. They can do it while with a group of family members or friends without worrying about being overheard or judged, and can communicate painful emotions that they may be too embarrassed to raise in a verbal conversation.
It’s easy to see how problems might arise when mentees search the Internet and discover controversial information, opinions, or photos of their mentors. Mentors are encouraged to occasionally search the Internet and view themselves through the eyes of their mentees. To the greatest extent possible, mentors should delete controversial public images and postings so as to protect the relationship.
To avoid misunderstanding, mentors should tell their mentees about their social media habits, so as to help manage expectations. If a mentee discloses something time sensitive over Facebook or texting and receives no response there could be hurtful or even dangerous lapses in the provision of timely support. Likewise, mentors may have good reasons to exclude their mentees from their Facebook pages, but the rejection (or simple ignoring) of friend requests can be hurtful to young people. Staff and mentors are encouraged to set expectations and policies around social media at the onset of the relationship—before such lapses and requests.