The answer to this question depends on the stage of your mentoring relationship and whether your mentee has expressed an interest in knowing more about you. In general, if you believe sharing certain information about yourself will strengthen the relationship, then it is probably appropriate to do so. Keep in mind, however, that the mentor should be more listener than talker. Talking about yourself just to get your mentee to open up may have the opposite effect—you are filling the silent spaces so she doesn’t need to try. In general, wait for your mentee to initiate conversations in which you talk about yourself.

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Tell funny stories.

One thing mentees always seem to enjoy hearing is stories—especially funny stories—about your childhood. They can be a gateway to talking about embarrassments and challenges you faced and how you handled them. Keep it light and humorous to avoid sounding like you are preaching. At least until you are well into a relationship, stay away from sensitive topics such as your religious or political beliefs.

Set a good example.

It is also particularly important to avoid sharing details that might unintentionally have a negative influence on your mentee, such as your former drug use or other illegal activities. While it may seem at first that sharing such information can be an opening to warn your mentee away from such behaviors, in reality the mentee can walk away with the sense that his mentor did it and is fine, so what can be so bad about it? The mentee’s family also might not be comfortable with you sharing such information. If asked, try to redirect the conversation back to the mentee by saying, for example, “Why are you interested in knowing this?” Or, “What would you think of me if I did—or didn’t?”

Redirect questions.

Remember, you want to keep the relationship focused on your mentee, so continue to encourage her to talk about her perspectives. Each mentor must decide how open he or she wants to be in sharing information with a mentee. You have as much of a right to privacy as your mentee, so you should not feel obligated to talk about any personal issues if it is not your style or makes you uncomfortable.

Understand intentions.

If your mentee asks about your life or beliefs, a good first response is to ask why she is interested. Try to see whether the question is simply a way for your mentee to bring up a topic about her own life or beliefs.