Understand the reasons.
Here are some possibilities:
- Shyness: Some young people are just shy or are not used to interacting with adults outside their family or school.
- Distrust: Young people who come from circumstances in which they felt let down by the adults in their lives may take extra time to decide to trust another one.
- Age: It can be especially challenging to connect with teenagers, at least in part because developmentally they are more oriented toward their peers than to the adults in their lives.
- Differences: Cultural, racial and ethnic, or gender differences can slow down the connection simply because it may take more time and effort to find common interests on which a relationship can be built.
- Circumstances: Family circumstances may also make it more difficult to establish a regular schedule for getting together.
- Unrealistic expectations: It is possible, too, that your expectations are out of sync with the reality of mentoring a young person. You may be looking for results in the first stage of your relationship that do not typically occur until later in the relationship.