New research shows that keeping your cool and hearing them out can pay dividends for communication Teens rarely talk to their parents about potentially risky online experiences, according to new research. Some of these situations may include cyberbullying, sexual exchanges, and viewing inappropriate content online. This disconnection may lead teens to refrain from talking about situations that may upset their mentors. While overreacting may curb communication, mentors should avoid acting dismissive when a teen does come to them with an issue.

Bottom Line for Mentors

It may be that teens are uncomfortable discussing certain topics or experiences with their parents and will turn to a trusted adult mentor as a source of support. Should this occur, it is important that you, as a mentor, remain calm and treat their questions seriously. Doing so acts as a signal of respect for the youth’s experiences, encouraging them to speak candidly. Further, teens have very different experiences online than do the majority of adults. They also process these experiences differently. Understanding their perspective can go a long way in not only connecting with your mentee, but also findings way of showing them why certain online behaviors are troubling, even if they may not “get it” immediately. At the end of the day, withholding immediate judgment when a teen has reached out to you with questions or to talk about their experiences can be a key sign to the youth that you want to hear them out and understand their feelings. This trusted space can serve as a starting point for many conversations down the road, building a closer, more lasting mentoring relationship.